Swan Diving 101

My entire left side is a little sore today as the result of a beautifully excecuted fall I had on the subway yesterday. It was one of those slow-motion, flying through the air kind of falls - the kind you see in movies when the character carrying the cream pie trips on something, except I went sideways instead of face-first - and I had no pie. I wish I could have seen it. From the collective gasp that went up from all the other passengers it must have been quite something. The fall was the culmination of four separate events. First, I sat in a seat where there was nothing within arm's reach to grab onto. Second, the lady who ended up standing directly in front of me, blocking me in, was so engrossed in her own little world that she didn't respond to my polite requests and taps on the shoulder asking her to move so that I could exit at my stop, forcing me to try and move around her. Third, the 2 teenage boys sitting next to me had long legs, large feet and full backpacks. And finally, the subway train lurched to a stop just as I started to lose my balance, giving me the momentum necessary to launch into the air, making a graceful arc, before landing at (or on, I can't really remember) the feet of some unsuspecting gentleman standing by the door. I then gathered what remained of my dignity, got up and walked off the subway car, and wavered between laughing and crying the rest of the way home.