Thursday, September 25, 2008

Broom-tastic!

Attention Toronto Home-owners!

This is a broom. It's a marvelous object, invented in its modern form by 19th century Shakers, and serving any number of purposes, from traditional floor cleaning to not-so-traditional crime fighting.

The reason that I bring it to your attention, however, is that it also works very well as a means of removing leaves, dirt and other detritus from your driveway. (Why you feel the need to remove said detritus from your driveway I'm not sure I understand, but you obviously do so we'll leave that as it is for the present moment.)

I have noticed lately that the vast majority of you have been using your hoses to wash your driveways and sidewalks clean, and I know that you must all be aware of how detrimental that is to the environment, what with the incredible amount of water that is wasted and the number of pollutants that are consequently washed into the water system. I have therefore reached the conclusion that you must be unaware of this valuable tool and how to use it.

Having come to that conclusion, I realized that it is unfair of me to expect you to switch to the broom method without any training, so I have included an instruction manual below.

How to Use a Broom to Sweep Your Driveway

1. Make sure you choose a broom that is suited for your task. In this case, your best bet would be a push broom, such as the one pictured to the right. It's large enough to cover a lot of territory quickly, and its bristles are generally designed to withstand the rougher texture of most outdoor surfaces.

2. Check to see that it isn't too windy out. This will help to keep the wind from undoing all your handiwork.

3. Beginning in a corner of your driveway next to your house, sweep (push the broom against the ground in one direction, lift and pull it back to the beginning edge) in overlapping strokes toward the street.

4. Work your way to the street, collecting the debris into a small pile or piles.

*Tip: It's best to be systematic, working from one end to the other. This helps ensure that you don't miss a spot.

5. Depending on your preference, either sweep the pile(s) into the street or into a dustpan (pictured to the left) for later disposal in the trash.

It's really that simple, folks! An added bonus in using your new found broom-wielding skills is that you will be burning off way more calories than you would using the old method. So how about we put away the hoses, m'kay?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sarah,
Maybe you should stay in TO after all and enlighten those inward focused Torontonians.... Could be a calling,
sharon

Annie said...

This message is equally important for people who choose to use what I call the "blowing machine". I don't know if people use that as much in Toronto as in Montreal but it makes me mad every time I see someone using it. Fine you don't waste water but you burn up gas and you make a whole lot of noise pollution only to have the leaves blow right back onto your driveway when you turn around because the fake wind you just made doesn't stop the real wind from doing the same thing back. Ridiculous. Leaves are nice, especially in the fall. You'd think people would get fed up by seeing so much concrete and would be grateful that there still exit green stuff around. Oh well. Look what you've unleashed!

Sarah C said...

Sharon - If it is a calling, I think I'll have to pull a Jonah and run for the hills :)

Annie - Leaf blowers are a huge pet peeve of mine too! They're so loud and inefficient.

Anonymous said...

I'm confused. I don't see where to plug it in... that must mean it takes batteries, right?

Anonymous said...

I actually just saw a leaf-blower a few km from us - in the country with trees everywhere, leaving beautiful patterns on the driveway... And why did you move out here, I wanted to ask...
sharon

Sarah C said...

Maureen - I'm going to trust that you're joking...otherwise I may have to stage an intervention for your own good :)

Sharon - Exactly! Why must driveways be clean enough to eat from? Who eats on their driveway!