Stumbling into a Rabbit Hole

I rarely watch TV. Not that I don't watch TV shows, but I generally prefer to find a show that I like and then watch it on my own schedule on my computer or on DVD. For the past few weeks, though, TC has taken over our computer to watch every episode of The Office (a show I can't stand because it reminds me too much of work), so I've had to resort to flicking through the channels to find something interesting.

And there was a significant amount of flicking. Is it just me, or do most primetime shows that are on right now really bite? There seem to be only a few categories available:

1. Crime shows, which have become rather predictable and have therefore come to rely on being shockingly graphic or twisted. The one exception I've noticed is NCIS, which tends to pay more attention to character development instead.
2. Reality shows, which are farther from reality than most fictional shows.
3. Dramas, which are essentially evening soap operas.
4. Sitcoms, which are almost all variations of the same situation. The variation comes in the exact nature of the quirks possessed by the couple/family that are the main characters. Again, I do have an exception. TC and I both love Big Bang Theory.

And that's about it! There doesn't seem to be a lot out there, so I was thankful when I happened to stumble onto this program:

I had previously seen Tin Man, which was produced by the same people, and I highly recommend it as well.

What about you folks? Are there any shows that you would recommend to someone who's tired of the same old, same old?

PS - I feel the need to add that I only watch these shows while I'm working on some kind of craft - knitting, crocheting, embroidery and the like. Wouldn't want you to think I sit around doing nothing ;)

Thoughts on Walmart

People often ask us why we've chosen not to shop at Walmart, and I've always found it difficult to articulate the reason. Not that we don't have one, it's just that I'm not an economist so my vocabulary in this area is rather limited. I came across an article the other day that summed it up pretty well, though (you can read it here). It basically comes down to 2 things:

1) Walmarts do initially create more jobs, but they're not "good" jobs, and in the long run they undermine the local economy.

2) Those low, low prices come at the expense of fair wages at almost every step in the production and distribution process.

In light of these two facts, TC and I have chosen to support local small businesses whenever we can. Things may cost a little more, but that's only because we're closer to paying the true cost for the item. As a bonus, we're a lot less likely to buy things that we don't really need. We've been doing pretty well, too. Since January, we've only purchased one thing at Walmart, and that was because it was the only place we could find it.

Please understand that I'm not condemning those who shop at Walmart. The fact that we don't is the result of a decision that TC and I made, based on our understanding of the world and the role we have in it. Not everyone would agree, and that's okay. But I am curious to know what you all think about Walmart. Is it good? Bad? Ugly? Are you completely okay with shopping there? Do you avoid it altogether? Or are you somewhere in between - shopping there but feeling slightly guilty about it?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day - a day fraught with love, bitterness, frustration and/or joy, depending on who you're talking to. I know people who love Valentine's Day, still handing out those little paper valentines to everyone they care about even though they're now adults. I know people who think the day is a crock, invented by capitalist card companies to generate sales during a slow time of year. I know people who dread the day, as they struggle with being single on a day dedicated to celebrating romantic love. I know people who think it's ridiculous to be expected to make some token gesture to their significant other, when they make their love known every other day of the year. And I know people to whom it is just an ordinary day.

To be completely honest, I have fallen into every one of those categories at some point in my life, so I understand each point of view. Right now, though, I enjoy celebrating the day. I don't go too crazy, celebrating it only with TC, and we tend not to spend any money in the process of that celebration, choosing instead to keep it fairly simple (though TC usually buys me a flower of some kind because he knows I love them). This year we'll be spending the day at a wedding - how perfect is that?

Part of the reason it's important to me for us to celebrate Valentine's Day in some way is that true romantic love, the kind that lasts a lifetime, is hard work. In our society, which is largely me-oriented, I think we need to make the most of every opportunity to celebrate the other - in this case, that special someone. And while it's true that making a token gesture of love one day of the year is empty if no love is shown on the other 364, if you do love someone what's wrong with making a little extra effort to show it on February 14th?

Now that I've had my 2 cents worth, what about you folks? What do you think about Valentine's Day? Love it? Hate it? Indifferent? Inquiring minds want to know :)

Comfort Week - Image

Well, today is the last day of Comfort Week, and it's definitely the most challenging topic so far! Sherrie has asked us to focus on image by showing or linking to a picture that represents our idea of total comfort. After careful deliberation, I chose the one you see above. It was taken while we were in Yarmouth this past summer, and in it you see TC, walking with our good friends Blogless Annie and her husband Matt down a sidewalk-less road on a very foggy day (I'm walking behind them to take the picture). Why does this represent total comfort to me?

I guess the main reason is the sense of relaxed freedom - there are no boundaries here, in both a physical sense (road, shoulder, field - it doesn't matter, just walk wherever you want) and a relational sense (Matt and Annie are some of the closest friends we have, and we're able to share just about anything with them). We're not on a schedule, there's no concern about destination - we're in it for the experience, enjoying the journey wherever it may take us (and if you want to see where that was, you can find it here). There is a present-ness about it, at least partly because of the fog, which prevented us from seeing too far ahead or behind and allowed us to be content in the here and now.

To me, that is the essence of comfort.

[Be sure to check out everyone else's images - you can find links to their blogs here.]

A Rambling Revelation

I had an interesting revelation the other day. It happened as I was getting ready for bed. As is my custom most nights, I sat on the edge of the bed while I flossed, etc., thinking about the day and whether I had everything ready to go for the next morning. My train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the sound of wood cracking and a rapid decrease in the bed's elevation. Lo and behold, the wooden frame of the box spring had come off of the bed frame at some unknown juncture, and had slowly been bowing until I sat on that spot one too many times and it cracked in half.

That event was not a revelation in and of itself, but my reaction to it caused me to step back and realize how much I have been influenced by the culture I live in. After I had picked myself up, and TC and I had evaluated the damage, my thought process went as follows: First, I decided that we'd have to get a new mattress set. Then I remembered that the mattress itself is undamaged and only 5 years old, so I decided that we really only need a new box spring. We needed to sleep somewhere in the meantime, though, so we set about moving the things that we had been storing under the bed so that we could set the box spring directly on the floor, where the cracked wooden frame wouldn't matter until we got a new one.

Then it hit me. Why was my initial response to throw away the whole thing and get a new set? And why was I so quick to want to throw away this perfectly good box spring when all we had to do to make it work again was sit it on the floor instead of in a raised bed frame?

Our culture teaches us that people who sleep with their mattresses on the floor must be poor, since anyone who could afford one would obviously have a proper bed with a frame, and being poor is a very bad thing. It means that you have somehow failed as a person in the eyes of our highly materialistic society. But really, for anyone who doesn't have trouble sitting down or standing up from a low position, what purpose does a raised bed serve except as a status symbol?

Originally, beds were raised to avoid draughts, dirt and any little guests that might want to snuggle up with you while you slept. In most modern homes, these are no longer issues. For the majority of us, a bed frame has become a 'necessity' simply because that's just how most beds are. It's true, a raised bed provides extra storage, but my thought is, if we have to store it under the bed, do we really need it?

Now, I'm not knocking anyone for using a bed frame - there's nothing wrong with sleeping in a raised bed. That's not the point I'm trying to make. What struck me was that I had obviously been influenced by our culture's materialistic mindset to some extent, despite my efforts not to be, since the idea of keeping the mattresses on the floor didn't even cross my mind until I stopped and thought about it. My default position was the "chuck it and buy a new one" response.

*sigh*

I guess I haven't quite reached perfection after all ;o)

Be It Resolved That...

As promised, here are my 2009 hopes and dreams, folks!

Resolution #1 - I've been really inspired by our teaching pastor's latest sermon series on recognizing and unplugging from the lies our culture tells us, particularly relating to consumerism. (It's an awesome series called "Don't Drink the Kool-Aid" - you can listen to it here if you're interested.) As a society, we have become almost completely disconnected from the reality of how goods are produced and the true costs of that production. We also have more of those goods than we really need, and are constantly bombarded with the message that we won't be happy until we have even more. So this year, I will be making sure that every gift we give is a useful object that I either made myself or bought from someone who made it themselves, a donation made in the person's name, or the gift of an experience rather than a thing.

Resolution #2 - In my ongoing quest to decrease the demands that my household makes on the environment, for 2009 I will be actively looking for ways to reduce the amount of water that we use. Any tips and/or suggestions are welcome, and I'll try to keep you updated on the progress we make (if any).

Resolution #3 - I want to incorporate more prayer in my day-to-day life. And by "prayer" I mean having conversations with God about my life and His will and our relationship. Does that make sense? Right now, we don't really have those conversations. I kind of just assume He knows what's going on and will let me know if anything needs changing. I do let Him know if something comes up that I think needs His special attention, and I try to live my life in a way that He'll be pleased about, but we never really talk, just the two of us. I really want to try and change that, but I'm not quite sure what it will look like yet. Again, any tips and/or suggestions are welcome :)

And that's it! Hopefully 2009 will turn out as well as 2008 did :)

Resolution Recap - part 4

Resolution #4: Fellowship - I have finally come to the realization that friendships do not just happen here in TO ... So, I shall be going out of my way to get to know people this year. I'm not talking about strangers, but the people that I already 'know' but don't really 'know', you know? Stepping up my efforts to crack through the Toronto-shell that everyone has developed.

This is the last of the resolution recaps, and the one that I am most thankful we've been able to achieve. I knew we'd made a lot of progress when we came back from our trip home in July, and it felt like we were coming home. For me, that only happens when I feel like I'm part of a community - that I've missed people, and they've missed me. TC and I have gotten to know the people in our home church a lot better over the past year. That has meant being very deliberate in our efforts to reach that stage, but the result is very much worth the effort.

The only thing is, we can't let up. It's so easy to be busy here, and if we're not careful we end up too busy to spend time with the people we care about. So we have to continue being proactive about booking time with people in advance, and making those times a priority. That makes it sound a bit like a chore, doesn't it? I don't mean it that way at all. It's just a different style of life, and we're settling into it rather nicely, thank you very much :)

Commuting Awareness

Every weekday I spend about an hour and a half travelling to and from work. Most of the time it's a rather uneventful affair - walk to bus stop, take bus to subway station, transfer to streetcar, take streetcar to another subway station, take subway to final subway station, walk to work (or the reverse if I'm on my way home). I usually knit or crochet, some people read, and everyone carries on in the common purpose of getting wherever it is they're going. That's the norm.

There are some days, though, when things happen that for whatever reason break me out of my commuter coma. Sometimes those things make me laugh, and other times they make me want to hit people. Sometimes it's neither good, nor bad - it's just interesting. It seems that yesterday was meant to be a day for noticing things. Let me take you with me on my commute...

It began in the morning as I was standing in the little holding pen that's serving as a bus stop while my road is under construction. It was quite chilly out, so I thought it was rather odd that the car sitting at the red light right in front of me had two of its windows down. I then noticed that the driver was smoking, which explained it. No big deal - if she wanted to smoke in her car (she was alone), that was fine by me. I couldn't help but think, though, that it seemed a little silly to be driving around in winter with your windows down just so you can slowly poison yourself. But I digress...

The rest of the trip to work was uneventful - I got 2 or 3 rounds of my Jaywalker sock knit, which is a good showing for one trip. On my way home, I needed to pick up some mozzarella at the grocery store, which is located in the complex above the middle subway station. As I came outside to wait for the streetcar, there was a guy with a guitar standing at the street corner, playing Christmas carols. It took me a while to figure out what exactly he was playing, though, since his tempo was way off - sort of like this:

Sil - - ver - - beeeeeeeells - - - -

Siiiiiiil - - ver - - bellsIt'sChristmastimeinthecity - -

Ring - - aaaaaaaaa - - ling - - -

Hearthemringsoonitwillbe -

Chriiiiiiiiist - - masday

I had to laugh - this was either a guy who had had a bit too much to drink or who had read the music but never heard the songs before. Or maybe it was his artistic interpretation? Whatever the cause the effect was highly amusing.

Eventually the streetcar came, and I got on and sat in the front of the back section (if that makes sense). It was pretty quiet, except for this lady and her son sitting somewhere behind me having a conversation. It. Was. Hilarious. Their conversation consisted of Junior telling Mom about his day, and Mom spouting reams of advice. Comme ca:

Mom - So how did things go at your dad's yesterday?

Junior - Well, I broke his box of chocolates.

Mom - How did that happen?

Junior - I knocked it over and it broke open and everything fell out on the floor. So I hid it.

Mom - Don't you think you should tell your dad about it?

Junior - Why?

Mom - Well, a box of chocolates can be replaced, but when you decide to lie or hide things from people, that affects who you are and that's a lot harder to fix. And you know that your dad would respect you for telling him the truth about it and be a lot less disappointed than he would be if he found out you hid it from him. So how did things go at school today?

Junior - Whatshisname was picking on me again.

Mom - Isn't it only Whatshisname's second day at your school?

Junior - Yeah.

Mom - Well, I know if I were Whatshisname, I'd be feeling pretty nervous about being in a new school with a lot of people I didn't know, and maybe I'd want to be friends with people but I'd be too afraid that they didn't want to be friends with me, so I'd be mean to them first so they wouldn't have the chance to be mean to me. You should be friendly to Whatshisname, and I bet he'd stop picking on you and start being your friend.

This went on for the duration of the trip on the streetcar! Every time the kid mentioned anything, the mom had all this incredibly well-articulated, reasonable advice to deliver in this lovingly patronizing June Cleaver-esque voice. I felt like I was an extra in an after-school special. Freaking hilarious. This kid is going to grow up to be either the most well-adjusted person on the face of the planet, or a psycho with a vendetta against TV moms.

Then, as I was waiting in line for the bus that would take me on the last leg of my commute, I noticed an older man who didn't seem to be quite right. He was rather loud, and continually attempted to carry on conversations with anyone he made eye contact with. Now, my initial response in this kind of situation is always twofold. First, my heart hurts for this person who obviously is broken in some way. Second, I studiously avoid making contact, not because I'm uncaring, but because if I'm alone I don't want behave irresponsibly or in a way that puts my safety at risk. Yet I always feel guilty about it, and this time was no exception. I sat there and hoped that this guy had someone who cared about him.

Finally, on the walk home from the bus stop I go past a wall of windows that look into a brand new Italian restaurant. Being subject to the same whims of human nature as everyone else, I am always compelled to look in and see what's going on. And every night it's the same thing - one or two people sitting at a table, and that's it. But yesterday the cook saw me (the kitchen in this place is visible from the seating area - and the windows), caught my eye and grinned at my unashamed voyeurism. I grinned back and then I was past the restaurant, smiling the rest of the way home.

Resolution Recap - part 2

Resolution #2: Food - This is an area that we have been working on since we started fending for ourselves, and while there has been some improvement, there is always room for more! For me this is going to take the form of having no more than one serving of sweets and/or baked goods each day. For his part TC has sworn off pop, except for an occasional diet version.

Okay, so on this one we haven't done quite so well... TC's pop embargo lasted about two weeks. In his defense, though, he has been drinking a lot less than he used to (at least around me) - but none of it is diet. It turns out he can't stand the taste of the diet stuff, and aspartame really isn't all that good for you anyway, right? Right?

As for me, I have succeeded in cutting down on the overall amount of sweets that I eat. The key has been that I just don't bake as much as I used to, which kind of sucks since I love to bake, but since I also love to eat it was a sacrifice that had to be made. I haven't completely stopped baking, but I am no longer compelled to keep some sort of baked good always available. I've found that if I'm really jonesing for something sugary, I can eat a tablespoon or so of milk chocolate chips and I'm good to go. I realize how desperate that sounds, but hey! It works!

Would it be fair to say that we partly accomplished this goal?

Resolution Recap - part 1

Well, December is officially here and the year has almost come to a close, which makes this a perfect time to look back over the year and see how I've done with my 2008 resolutions. Since there were 4 of them, I'll be posting about each of them separately. So here we go!

Resolution #1: Finances - We have been so blessed with resources in this area, and I don't think it's because we're supposed to have lots of things. To that end, we are going to be actively budgeting and trying to live wisely and simply so that we can share a greater proportion of those resources with people who need them more than we do.

I'm actually rather pleased with the progress we made here. We did indeed budget for several months, keeping track of where our money was going, until our computer went on the fritz and killed our excel program forever. But by that time we had set up a pretty good system of saving, spending and giving. Speaking in terms of percentages, we spend roughly 50% of what we earn, including necessities like rent and school, and frivolities like yarn and books. The rest is split between saving for a down payment on a house someday and giving to three organizations we believe are making a difference, both here at home and around the world (you can check them out here, here and here).

In some ways, achieving this balance has been easy. Right now we're in the position of making much more than we need, so it's not too hard live within our means. On the other hand, we have had to be very careful not to give in to the temptation of buying more than we need. It's much easier to convince yourself that you don't need those new shoes when you know you can't afford them anyway. We haven't always been successful in resisting that temptation, but on the whole I'm happy with the way things have gone.

(On a side note - though it's not completely unrelated - my piano has arrived! We ordered it on Wednesday night, and it came on Friday afternoon. And I'm loving it!)

Three things...

We had a rather nice treat last night, with a visit from our friends Nick & Maureen who are in town for a while. They came for dinner, and over the course of the evening I was struck by three different things.

The first thing: I was reminded of how important it is to always, always, always read the entire recipe when planning to make a dish. That way you won't realize after you start making said dish that it is going to need to simmer for an hour before you can finish making it. Causing dinner to be late. Very late. And then because you won't be feeling rushed, you won't forget to put some of the ingredients in. Causing dinner to be edible, but rather monochromatic. (It was a beef stew, and I forgot to add the green veggies, so everything was red and orange.)

The second thing: I am turning into my grandmother. Whenever anyone visits my grandmother, she will not allow them to leave her house empty-handed. It may be cookies, it may be a side of beef, or a set of decorative tins, but you will be taking something with you when you leave. TC pointed out last night that I do the exact same thing. Poor Nick & Maureen - I wouldn't let them leave last night without taking some grape jam and 2 kinds of soap. At least it wasn't decorative tins :)

The third thing: I'm not quite sure yet how to articulate this one, so please bear with me if I seem to be rambling - there is a point, I promise :) I've known Nick & Maureen since my earliest university days. Maureen I knew sort of in passing - it was a small university, so everyone knew everyone, but we travelled in different circles. Nick was someone that I hung out with on a regular basis, so we became good friends. Life happened, as it usually does, and I didn't see either of them for several years.

Then a couple of years ago, we reconnected through facebook. I learned that they had a blog and became a regular visitor, which has helped me to know Maureen quite a bit better, since she does most of the blogging over there. We also share an enjoyment of tea stores and yarn crafts (though she's a knitter and I'm a crocheter - for the uninitiated, that's sort of like being a Capulet and a Montague), and discovered that we're both part of the online community at Ravelry. Then when I started this blog, Nick & Maureen were some of its first readers and commenters. So when they came to visit last night, it didn't feel to me like we hadn't seen each other in years, although in reality it had been years. Instead, while it was a treat to be able to be with them in person, it was more like we were continuing a conversation that had already been taking place.

It became clear at a couple of points during the evening, though, that this was not the case for TC. As you may or may not have guessed by this point, my husband is a bit of a Luddite, at least in some respects. We do not own a cell phone, and although he's comfortable using email, TC does not and will not participate in any other form of online communication. He does read this blog, and will read entries from the blogs of people we know if I bring them up and put them in front of him and tell him he should read them, but that's about it. And to be completely honest, he's not entirely comfortable with the extent of my own participation in the online world, though he's always supportive. So for him, it wasn't just the first time he'd seen Nick & Maureen in years, it was the first time he'd interacted with them at all in years. And if he wasn't married to me, he would have gone on in that sad Nick & Maureen-less state for who knows how long!

I'm not saying that online communities should or can replace face-to-face interactions with people. There's something important about physical presence in any kind of relationship - that's why it was such a treat to actually spend time with Nick & Maureen. But at the same time, I guess I was struck last night by how friendships that might otherwise never have been possible can be started, renewed and/or maintained through the medium of the internet. It's really a rather amazing thing, when you think about it. Which I did. Until way too late last night. Which is probably why this such a rambling post. Sorry.

Thoughts on celebrity

One of the facts of life in a city like Toronto is that at some point you'll probably spot a celebrity. Maybe not someone like Brad Pitt, but definitely a small-c celebrity - someone who is easily recognizable, and everyone would know, but isn't hounded by paparazzi. In the 3 years we've lived here, we've seen several, and even met one or two. People like Luba Goy, of Air Farce fame, or Rex Murphy, who looks intelligently perplexed even when all he's doing is riding an elevator. I met Ben Johnson one day, the sprinter who introduced my generation to the concept of steroid use when he was stripped of his gold medal back in 1988, and TC has had dinner with Adrienne Clarkson, the former governor-general.

I could keep going, but I'm not telling you all this in order to brag about how many 'famous' people we've seen. We're not celebrity watchers, and I honestly think that our society spends way too much time following the activities of people who have done absolutely nothing to warrant that kind of attention in the first place. As such, we make a conscious effort not to support that kind of behaviour - we don't watch those entertainment shows, or buy any of the magazines. It just doesn't interest us.

What does interest me, though, is that despite my belief and my efforts to abstain from the cultural celebrity obsession, whenever I've seen or met anyone recognizable, my immediate reaction has been one of excitement and I felt the need to tell someone about it. Why is that the case? What part of the human psyche makes us want to associate ourselves with someone who we don't know and who don't know us just because they are 'famous'? Why do we place such value on these people that the thought of any kind of connection with them is an exciting prospect?

Don't get me wrong - I know that they're people too, and there are some celebrities who I think it would be interesting to know. I just can't help but think that if we equally valued the people around us, we'd be a lot farther ahead.

Mailbox Delight

Look what arrived in our mailbox on Friday...

...this lovely hat for TC...

...and these gorgeous fingerless mitts for me from Blogless Annie! It's been a hard week - our friend G, who is part of our home church, passed away on Wednesday morning - so it was a perfect time for a pleasant surprise. Thank you so much Annie! TC liked the hat so much he wore it around the apartment for a while on Friday night :)

We spent this morning at G's funeral and burial. She was an amazing lady - came to Canada from Zimbabwe eight years ago to make a place for her son, who waited for her back home. Almost 2 years ago, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which was successfully treated. Just this past year, she was finally able to bring her son to join her here, after 7 years of waiting. Her tumor then reappeared, and this time there was little that could be done. Thankfully, her son, who is 11 or 12, was granted permanent residency late last week, so G knew before she died that he would be able to stay here.

Something that struck us as we were sitting at the reception was that there are a number of similarities between funerals and weddings - the booking of facilities for the ceremony, there's a special car, the reception (where you meet a lot of different people), sending out thank-you notes, the procession of cars, people get all dressed up - the difference (other than the obvious) being that you usually have months to plan a wedding, and for funerals you only have days to pull it all together.

As draining as it all was, it was a good thing. There's something beautiful about gathering together to celebrate a life well lived. And G's life, though brief, was lived with grace, dignity, generosity and love.

Thoughts on selfishness

I think I'm being selfish. I don't know - maybe I'm not. I know that I'm frustrated. We moved here to Toronto so that TC could continue his studies, and because of that our lives are basically structured around his school schedule. That's the way it has to be, and most of the time I'm okay with it. I knew what I was signing up for when I married him, and I'm so proud of him and all that he's been able to do.

There are times, though, when it gets to me. When I feel like if I have to make one more sacrifice or set aside one more thing that I'd like to do so that he can pursue some aspect of his school life, I'm going to explode. And it's not that TC is overly demanding or insensitive to this imbalance - he's not, and he does try to make sure I have room for a life too. It's just that when I repeatedly end up holding the bag because he's overcommitted himself, doing things on my own that we were supposed to do together, or having to give up something to fill in for him in another area because something has come up and my activity was less urgent, I start feeling angry and resentful. Taken for granted.

And I know I shouldn't feel that way, because I know that I'm not taken for granted. I also know that sometimes these things just can't be helped - life comes at you fast and furious and all of a sudden you realize that you need to be in three places at once. I'm glad that I'm able to be here to help him when that happens.

Is it selfish to wish that sometimes our life was structured around me instead, though?

Warning: May Contain Traces of Ranting

Scene: A popular pizza chain. Standing behind the counter is a uniformed adolescent food service worker. A managerial type in shirt and tie can be seen milling around in the back of the kitchen.

[Enter TC.

Worker: Can I help you?

TC: Yeah, I'd like to get a large BBQ chicken pizza, but I need to know first whether it has any MSG in it - that's short for monosodium glutamate.

Worker: I don't know.

TC: Could you please check? My wife is very allergic to it.

Worker: Just a sec...

[Worker walks to rear of kitchen and confers with Manager.

Manager: [hollering from back of kitchen] No, no...there's no MSG in anything. Chinese food is the only thing that has MSG in it.

TC: Not really - MSG is actually in a lot of stuff, like some sauces and processed meats.

Manager: [still hollering from back of kitchen] Oh, yeah, well there's MSG in everything. You can't avoid it.

TC: [getting slightly frustrated] That's not true - your pizza sauce is MSG free, but I'm not sure about the BBQ sauce. Could you please check the ingredients?

Worker: [reading something - presumably an ingredients list] I don't think there's any.

TC: Fine. I'll take one to go.


End scene.

***********************************

Any guesses as to whether or not I ate any of this pizza? It happened a little while ago, but I couldn't help remembering this incident yesterday as I read an article about kids being bullied with their food allergies at school. Remember that Simpsons episode where Bart discovers that Principal Seymour is allergic to peanuts and threatens him with a peanut on a stick to make him do what Bart says? Not so funny when it happens in real life.

Part of the reason behind the bullying, according to the article, was that many people who don't have food allergies just don't understand the severity of it all. To them, it seems that those with allergies are just being picky or trying to get attention. I've run into this attitude more than once, and it never ceases to make me angry.

And it's not just food allergies. I've been blessed (I think?) to have a family that has allergies, so they understand when I tell them that I'm reacting to their perfumes, etc. when I'm there and they try to make reasonable accommodations. But I know someone who developed allergies to dust and pet dander in adulthood, and whenever they visit their family, they immediately start having an allergic reaction to the carpets filled with the offending allergens. And their family's response? You're not really allergic to it - you're making it up - it's all in your head.

Making it up?

I wish that there were some way to make it possible for every allergy-free person to be given a food allergy and/or an environmental allergy for a week. Nothing life threatening - just something that would make them miserable and help them understand what it's like to live with allergies. Then we might see a little less of this ridiculous attitude of blaming the allergic for their allergies.

Lest We Forget indeed!

I sincerely dislike election time. Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful that I live in a country where the people elect their leaders. It's not always a perfect system, but I believe it's definitely one of the best. And I don't take my responsibility as a voting citizen lightly. Each time an election is called, I try to understand the issues and how each party addresses them so that I can make an informed decision.

There are aspects of the whole process that annoy the heck out of me, though. I hate the signs that start going up until every conceivable space is covered in red, blue, green, orange or whatever colour any independants are using. I hate answering the phone only to hear an automated voice telling me to vote for this party or that candidate.

But what I hate the most are TV ads like this one. I completely agree with everything Harper says, but it has nothing to do with whether or not I should vote for him. Instead, it makes me angry that any party would try to use the sacrifices made by our veterans for political gain. I'm supposed to watch this ad and think, Yes, I owe a debt of gratitude to our veterans. Wow, Harper feels the same way. He must be the best candidate for Prime Minister - I'll vote for him. I mean, come on! It's nothing more than a cheap attempt at emotional manipulation.

Shame on you, Mr. Harper!

Movie vs. Book?

As you may have noticed, my new Book du Jour is the Maltese Falcon, and can I just say that I'm thoroughly enjoying it? I love the description of the main character, private eye Sam Spade, who "looked rather pleasantly like a blond satan." I guess the casting execs decided that a "blond satan" wouldn't sell very well as a hero in the movie version, which starred Humphrey Bogart.

Which made me think of all the other book/movie combinations and the differences that exist between the two mediums. How many of the changes that are made when the books are turned into movies are actually necessary? Would the Wizard of Oz have been less successful if Dorothy's slippers had been made of silver instead of ruby? Or the Lord of the Rings if Frodo had been 40-ish?

But then, some movies have actually improved on the books they were based on, such as the Princess Bride (My apologies to any fans of the book, but having all the characters die or be captured at the end is just plain wrong!). Others, of course, have done the opposite and ruined the story (i.e. the Golden Compass - fabulous book, horrible movie!).

I recognize some changes are necessary, since there is indeed a significant difference in what can be done with a 2-hour movie and a 350-page book, but I'm always a little leery of going to see a movie if I've already read the book. There have been far more failures than successes as far as I'm concerned.

Gaining Perspective

I think...no, that's not right...I know that I should stress out a lot less than I do. I mean, if I really stop and think about it, no matter how busy I get, I know that I have been just as busy in the past and pulled through. It's just that I sometimes lose perspective and need to be reminded that there are bigger things than me and my problems out there.

Last night that reminder came in the form of a Toronto Symphony Orchestra concert that we attended with our friend JD. As we sat there and listened to the music, I was completely swept up in it. There were points when I had to remind myself to breathe, especially during the third piece that they played: John Corigliano's Symphony No. 2 for String Orchestra. It was such intense and moving music, so beautiful and haunting.

It was also great to reconnect with JD, who we went to university with and now works with a missions organization. She just returned from a trip to Bangladesh and had wonderful things to tell us about the work that is being done toward improving literacy among the women and children in that country, as well as the on-going translation of the Bible into their language. You can't help but realize how paltry your own problems (or at least my problems) are when you realize how much you have to be thankful for - the ability to read, the freedom to believe and worship as I choose, more food and clothing than I really need.

So what if I'm busy? :)

Overwhelmed

I'm not sure whether I think it's neat or cussed that I'm continually learning new things about myself. Life would be so much easier if we were born knowing, or least came into the knowledge at a certain point in life. But it's so much more complicated than that, especially given the fact that we change over time, for various reasons. This can be a very good thing since nobody is perfect, and there is nothing more rewarding that seeing someone overcome a negative aspect of their personality.

But sometimes the change is more on the part of your perception of yourself than who you actually are. I used to think that I was an extrovert, who loved to be busy and out and about with lots of people, and in the last couple of months I have come to the realization that this is not, in fact, the case. I love people, and spending time with friends will always be a priority in my life, but I'm discovering that I need to put limits on this. Lately I have begun to feel increasingly overwhelmed by the amount of social committments that we have. If I look at my calendar for last week and the next couple of weeks, I actually feel oppressed. Of the 21 days, only 4 evenings are free, and it's been like this for the last month or so.

I found myself so overwhelmed and exhausted this week that I didn't go to a friend's birthday party on Monday night, and then called in sick yesterday and proceeded to sleep a good part of the day away. And it's not that I'm one of those people who can't say no - I actually say no a lot, but you can only say no so many times.

I think at least part of the reason I'm finding it all so overwhelming is that we're in Toronto. Not that the physical city itself is the cause, but rather its subcultural norms. Everything is so planned here. We wanted to get together with some friends a while ago, and ended up having to book an evening 3 weeks in the future to do it because everyone was so busy. That's Toronto. It's so easy to overbook yourself when you're planning that far in advance.

But I could deal with the over-scheduling if it weren't for the fact that when people do get together in Toronto, it's almost always at an outside location, i.e. a restaurant or park or movie theatre. Very rarely do people invite you into their homes, not because they're unfriendly, but that's just not how it's done here. You get together with people to do something, and this usually involves a trip to and from the agreed-upon location, which using public transit can take up to 45 minutes each way.

There are exceptions to this, of course, and it's not that I don't like doing things with people. It's just that I'm discovering that I need a lot more down time than I thought. I never noticed this back home, because the nature of social interaction there is much more laid back. You don't need to plan 3 weeks in advance, you just go visiting. If they're not there, it's no big deal. If you don't want to go out, you don't. You can just spend an evening in, doing what you would normally do, except perhaps with more people if they should decide to come visit you. Of course sometimes plans are made ahead, and people do do things together, but not to the extent that it's done here.

I'm not quite sure what to do about all this yet. I don't want to be anti-social or unreliable, but our current pace is just too much. I'm hoping that things will get better through the summer, as some of our responsibilities ease up a bit, but then September will roll around again and back we go. But I don't want to go back to this paralyzing state of over-committment. Maybe I just need to resign myself to having to say no even more than I am now.

Birthday musings

I have now officially been on this earth for 28 years. Yesterday, as some of you already know, was my birthday, and as I was walking to work I was struck by how much I have been blessed in that relatively short amount of time.

I was born into an incredibly loving, supportive family that taught me so many important lessons about life and how to live it, in a country where I am free to pursue whatever avenues I wish to pursue, either professionally or personally, without fear of reprisal.

In the 28 years that I've experienced so far, all the people that I care about have enjoyed relatively good health. That's not to say that we haven't experienced tragedy, but there has been little suffering.

I've been able to travel to different parts of the world and see how people from other cultures live.

I've made some wonderful friends, the kind that time and distance seem to have no effect on. Whenever we're together, it's like no time has passed at all.

I somehow managed to find a wonderful man, who has for some reason agreed to share a life with me. And more than that, he does all he can to make that life a wonderful one.

We have known both the freedom that comes with having next to nothing, and the joy that comes with having enough to share with others.

Not too bad for 28 years, eh?