Lessons from Dude

This is Dude - my 32 lb. energetic bundle of laughs, mischief, slobber and curiousity. Since he came into my life a little more than a year ago, he has taught me many, many things. Things that I thought I already knew, but really...I had no idea.

Lesson #1 - Free time is a rare and precious thing.

Every now and then, I go back and read old posts on this blog. I did so recently, and laughed at how often I complained about being too busy. Then I wanted to reach back in time and smack myself on the head. I had so much free time!! Other than the 45-ish hours a week spent at work, and the 50 or so hours spent sleeping, my time was completely my own to do with as I pleased. That's a little over 70 hours every week!

Now? Free time exists only in the hours that Dude is asleep or being looked after by someone else. Ask any parent of a pre-schooler, and they will confirm that if your child is awake and in your care, you will get little else accomplished beyond ensuring their relative health, safety, entertainment, maintenance, etc. So, taking into account work and sleep, the amount of post-Dude free time is reduced to around 30 hours/week. Assuming he sleeps normally (see below). And because society frowns on the practice of leaving sleeping children alone, I cannot go anywhere during those 30 hours unless another caregiver is in attendance.

Thankfully I have someone in my life who shares the responsibilities of parenthood and is willing/able to take on solo care-giving duty for a while. This gives me a little extra time to squeak in luxury activities like going to get groceries by myself, or going out to eat with friends. However, should I want to engage in such activities with this other person, we fork over big $$ for a babysitter.

Lesson #2 - Uninterrupted sleep is a subcategory of free time.

I.e. - it is a rare and precious thing, only possible when Dude is also asleep. Fortunately for us, Dude has always been an excellent sleeper. Bedtime comes, hugs and kisses are exchanged, Dude is put in his bed, and that's it. He sleeps. And unless he's sick, overtired, or in a strange place, he usually manages to stay asleep until it's time to wake up. I cannot express to you how thankful we are for this child.

That being said, he is still a child. So there are still nights that are less than restful for all involved. And I never know when those nights will happen. Unless I decide to stay up late (and by "late" I mean anytime after 10pm) to indulge in a free time activity, like reading a book. That will invariably be the night that Dude develops a cold and ends up coughing all night, or has a nightmare at 2 am, or wakes up for some unknown reason and cannot get back to sleep without significant effort on my part.

Lesson #3 - Privacy is optional.

Not only is my time no longer my own, my space has been greatly diminished as well. Being alone while using the bathroom? Thing of the past. Eating my own food, and only my own food? Not anymore. Sitting down without serving as an interactive jungle gym? Rarely. Toddlers just don't understand the concepts of privacy or personal space, so Dude has full access at almost all times. And you know what? It honestly doesn't bother me.

Lesson #4 - Cleanliness is highly overrated.

This one probably doesn't require a whole lot of explanation. When you only have 30 hours of free time every week, you swiftly come to realize what your priorities are. I was surprised to realize how far down the list house cleaning is for me. As long as things are clean enough that no one's going to get sick, I'm good. There are other things I'd rather do with my oh so precious time. :)

#5 - A mother's love is unconditional.

It's true. I love this kid more than I ever thought it was possible to love another human being. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and my family, but it's different from the way that I love Dude. And I'm not exactly sure how to describe it. There is absolutely nothing he could do, nothing, that would change the fact that he's my son and I love him. The main goal of my life now is to make sure he grows up to be the best version of himself that he can possibly be.

Which is why it honestly doesn't matter that I have no free time, have developed permanent bags under my eyes, can't pee without an audience, and live in a pig sty. If that's what it takes to make sure he's happy and healthy, then I'm glad to do it.

Ole! Ole! Ole!

Growing up in the Maritimes - where no one really played soccer except that one kid who was kind of wierd anyway - I had never heard of the World Cup. It was swiftly made clear to me in the summer of 2006 that this put me in the minority on a global scale.

Here in Toronto, it is HUGE. There was no way I could have been prepared for the phenomenon that is TO during the World Cup.

Everyone had flags waving from their car windows, over balconies, in windows, on cubicle walls - basically anywhere they could think to put one. Little stores pop up on street corners selling merchandise. At work, every television (and many computer screens) was tuned in to every game, and there was always a crowd of people around each one.

By the quarter finals, it had become a massive, firm-wide event. The flags of the 8 remaining teams were hung at reception, and removed as each team was eliminated. Any games that took place during work hours were projected onto the big screens in the large boardrooms, where we had set up free wings and pizza, as well as fresh popcorn made in the carnival-grade popcorn machines the company rented for the duration (it was my job to make the popcorn - I smelled like butter for weeks!).

TC and I live near one of Toronto's Italian communities, and every time Italy won, we wouldn't be able to sleep at night because of the horns sounding in celebration from the myriad of cars driving up and down the street. And when they won the cup...whoo, boy! More than 20,000 people came to our area to party - and party they did!

This year is shaping up to be much the same, and I'm loving it! I was waiting for the streetcar after work today, and there was obviously some kind of delay as the line stretched all the way to the other side of the station. People were incredibly irritated, and fuses were short. When a TTC supervisor arrived on the scene, he was asked none too politely what the hold-up was. His response? "Mexico just won, and the street was blocked."

What followed is the reason I enjoy the World Cup. All of a sudden, no one was irritated anymore. It made perfect sense to everyone that the street had to be blocked in order to properly celebrate a victory. Complete strangers in line began discussing the merits of various teams, the results of the earlier game between Argentina and South Korea, the annoying-ness of the vuvuzela horn...you get the idea.

No other event that I know of brings people together like this - even the Olympics don't really come close. And it's fabulous to see :)

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming...

Happy New Year everyone!

And what a year it's been! Thank you all for your patience as things shut down around here for a while so that I could deal with life and stuff - your notes and encouragement throughout have meant the world to me :) Life is still crazy, but I think that's just going to be the norm from now on and that's perfectly okay. It's also fun (most of the time)!

Did you notice the new look? I'm hoping to take this blog in a slightly different direction this year. A few weeks ago, TC and I were really challenged* to shift our focus from what we want to what we already have, choosing to be grateful for the many blessings already in our lives instead of falling into that sense of not quite being there yet, wherever "there" happens to be. So here's my plan:

Each day in 2010, I will post about one thing that happened in the previous 24 hours for which I am thankful.

I'm looking forward to the journey, and to sharing it with all of you!

Here's to a joyful, fulfilling 2010!

*If you want to hear the sermon that did the challenging, click here, select the series "Get Over Yourself" and either watch or listen to the one called "Entitlement: The Culture of Special". It's good stuff :)

I know it's been a while. Life has exploded since September started. I don't even really have time to be writing this, but I'm going to anyway! Here's a quick run down of what's been going on:

• We had a great time visiting with a couple friends from university who came up to attend the U2 concert last week. It's fun being a tourist in your own city!
• Work has gone absolutely crazy. My boss is steps away from having a breakdown, and the rest of us aren't too far behind. There's just too much to do and not enough time to get it all done. But we have to get it done anyway.
• I now have to carry a blackberry around with me wherever I go, so that I'm always available should a work-related emergency come up. Boy am I thrilled about that.
• My brother is getting married in less than 2 weeks. Last week he sent me an email asking me to play the piano for the wedding. We still haven't picked the music :)
• TC has started back at school, and will be teaching a Shakespeare course for the winter semester. Which means he's now Professor TC. At least for 3 months.
• It's been so busy that I haven't gotten groceries in over 3 weeks, other than picking up a necessity here and there.
• I'm almost done the mystery crochet project that I've been working on, which means I'll hopefully be able to post pictures of it soon.
• Our home church has started up for the year, so we've been attending various elders' meetings, training sessions, and kick-off events. It's good to get back into things though.

Right now the pace of our life has picked up to the point where I'm starting to feel like all I can do is dig in and hang on for dear life. The good thing is that I know this will pass, so I'm not as stressed out as I would have been a few years ago. In the meantime, I'm going to keep trying to laugh at life and enjoy the ride.

A little something to help with the laughter:

Living in 40+ degree heat - a balanced perspective :)

~~~

I normally hate drinking water, but I'm so thirsty that I'm getting my 8 glasses a day.

I'm thirsty because I'm sweating buckets - yay for being stinky!

~~~

We have no a/c in our apartment, so sleep has been next to impossible.

I actually look forward to going in to work in the morning, because it's air conditioned.

~~~

It's too hot to eat anything that isn't essentially a liquid.

I've lost weight.

~~~

I'm not getting any housework done, because any prolonged movement puts you at risk of heat stroke.

I've discovered several new TV shows that I enjoy, and have caught up on my reading.

~~~

I haven't had to use moisturizer in a week, because the air is so humid it does the job for me.

I haven't had a good hair day in over a week.

~~~

Warning: This post may gross you out a little...

As I posted earlier this month, one of my resolutions for this year is to reduce the amount of water that my household uses each day. So far, most of what I've done has been in the way of observing our water usage habits - and it's not always pretty, people! My eyes have definitely been opened since I started taking note every time a tap is turned on or the toilet flushed.

We waste a lot of water! Turning the tap on full blast and letting it run for the duration as we brush our teeth - gak! Turning on the shower as soon as I enter the bathroom in the morning - oy vey! Flushing after every little dribble - egad! That's litres of perfectly good water down the drain.

All is not lost, though. We've started implementing some changes to this water-logged lifestyle. I'm working on remembering to turn off the tap between toothbrush rinsings, and not turning it on full blast at all. I'm also annoying TC by constantly pointing out his water wastage in this area :) The shower now waits until I'm ready to start, though I still have to let it run a little to warm up - I draw the line at cold showers! And our new flushing motto is "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." Unless we have company, of course, in which case we flush away. So there is progress!

Can I vent just a little bit, though? I'm also trying to be water-conscious wherever I go, and since starting this project I've developed a new pet peeve - people in public washrooms who feel the need to flush 15 times while using the toilet so that other people won't hear them do their thing. To those people, I just want to say...

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYBODY!!

It's not like we're sitting or standing outside the stall wondering if maybe you're composing a sonnet or plotting to overthrow the government. Everyone else in that bathroom knows that you went in there to relieve yourself - and nobody cares. We all do it, and it basically sounds the same. So smarten up, get over yourself and quit wasting water because of your vanity!

Okay, I'm done now.

Comfort Week - Routine

Sherrie's challenge for today is to post about a behaviour/habit/routine that brings us comfort. To be completely honest, there are probably a million things that I do for the comfort it brings me, like every time I brew a cup of tea, or sit down to knit or crochet something, or bake a batch of chocolate chip cookies. (Actually, if I could sip a cup of tea and crochet between switching pans of cookies in the oven - I think I'd be in comfort heaven!)

But I've recently discovered a new routine that has fallen into place which is also very comforting, and I didn't realize it until this morning. As those of you who have been tracking along with me on this blog know, TC and I have had a rather difficult time making significant friendships since we moved to Toronto 3 years ago. In fact, it has only been in the last year that things have really progressed in this area, due in a large part to our new church.

The thought started last night as I put on a pair of slippers that I now keep at the home of some friends of ours. It hit me that the reason those slippers are there is that part of our routine is to be at their house at least twice a week, if not more, which is a rather remarkable thing. The couple whose house it is have become quite good friends of ours, and have made us feel so welcome in their home that it almost seems like a second home to us - so much so that TC no longer knocks before he goes in the door (although I'm trying to break him of that particular habit).

I guess it's not so much the behaviour/habit/routine of visiting these friends that I find comforting so much as the fact that it is a behaviour/habit/routine. Does that still count?

[Be sure to check out the posts of other Comfort Week participants, which you can find here.]

Be It Resolved That...

As promised, here are my 2009 hopes and dreams, folks!

Resolution #1 - I've been really inspired by our teaching pastor's latest sermon series on recognizing and unplugging from the lies our culture tells us, particularly relating to consumerism. (It's an awesome series called "Don't Drink the Kool-Aid" - you can listen to it here if you're interested.) As a society, we have become almost completely disconnected from the reality of how goods are produced and the true costs of that production. We also have more of those goods than we really need, and are constantly bombarded with the message that we won't be happy until we have even more. So this year, I will be making sure that every gift we give is a useful object that I either made myself or bought from someone who made it themselves, a donation made in the person's name, or the gift of an experience rather than a thing.

Resolution #2 - In my ongoing quest to decrease the demands that my household makes on the environment, for 2009 I will be actively looking for ways to reduce the amount of water that we use. Any tips and/or suggestions are welcome, and I'll try to keep you updated on the progress we make (if any).

Resolution #3 - I want to incorporate more prayer in my day-to-day life. And by "prayer" I mean having conversations with God about my life and His will and our relationship. Does that make sense? Right now, we don't really have those conversations. I kind of just assume He knows what's going on and will let me know if anything needs changing. I do let Him know if something comes up that I think needs His special attention, and I try to live my life in a way that He'll be pleased about, but we never really talk, just the two of us. I really want to try and change that, but I'm not quite sure what it will look like yet. Again, any tips and/or suggestions are welcome :)

And that's it! Hopefully 2009 will turn out as well as 2008 did :)

Thoughts on celebrity

One of the facts of life in a city like Toronto is that at some point you'll probably spot a celebrity. Maybe not someone like Brad Pitt, but definitely a small-c celebrity - someone who is easily recognizable, and everyone would know, but isn't hounded by paparazzi. In the 3 years we've lived here, we've seen several, and even met one or two. People like Luba Goy, of Air Farce fame, or Rex Murphy, who looks intelligently perplexed even when all he's doing is riding an elevator. I met Ben Johnson one day, the sprinter who introduced my generation to the concept of steroid use when he was stripped of his gold medal back in 1988, and TC has had dinner with Adrienne Clarkson, the former governor-general.

I could keep going, but I'm not telling you all this in order to brag about how many 'famous' people we've seen. We're not celebrity watchers, and I honestly think that our society spends way too much time following the activities of people who have done absolutely nothing to warrant that kind of attention in the first place. As such, we make a conscious effort not to support that kind of behaviour - we don't watch those entertainment shows, or buy any of the magazines. It just doesn't interest us.

What does interest me, though, is that despite my belief and my efforts to abstain from the cultural celebrity obsession, whenever I've seen or met anyone recognizable, my immediate reaction has been one of excitement and I felt the need to tell someone about it. Why is that the case? What part of the human psyche makes us want to associate ourselves with someone who we don't know and who don't know us just because they are 'famous'? Why do we place such value on these people that the thought of any kind of connection with them is an exciting prospect?

Don't get me wrong - I know that they're people too, and there are some celebrities who I think it would be interesting to know. I just can't help but think that if we equally valued the people around us, we'd be a lot farther ahead.

In Review...

Do you remember those socks that I started way back in July? I finished them this past weekend - yay! They're not perfect (I still haven't nailed the 'finish-off-the-toe' thing), but for a first attempt at sock-making, I'm immensely pleased with them :)

We actually did quite a bit over the weekend, come to think of it. Friday was spent with some friends from Calgary who were in town at a part of the city known as the Distillery District - one of my new favourite parts of Toronto. Check out this picture from their official website:

Very Dickensian, don't you think? Of course it was daytime when we were there, and there were no Christmas lights, but there was an Art Fair and my new favourite store - Soma Chocolate. Mmm...all you have to do is go in the store and breathe and you get your chocolate fix. They make it all right there (you can watch them do it) and it is soooo good!

I need to stop thinking about it, though, or I won't be able to avoid sweets this month. So far so good, by the way. As of Monday morning I haven't touched anything that might be classified as 'dessert' (which, for me, is a pretty extensive list). 27 more days to go...

Anyhoo, on Saturday we made one of our tri-annual trips to Wal-mart (that horribly addictive place) and came home with so much stuff (I console myself that none of it was useless - we actually did need all of it). I won't bore you with all the details, but I did spend September & October's yarn budget for an afghan that I'm excited about. Another awesome find:

That's the first of my Jaywalker socks with the Fleece Artist Seawool, which isn't what I got at Wal-mart. See the bag that it's sitting on? We've been needing a new set of sheets, and the ones we bought came wrapped in that bag rather than in plastic. I think it's rather cute - it's now my knitting tote for the subway. Hooray for reuseable packaging!

Sunday and Monday were spent visiting, relaxing, knitting (see above) and making a batch of lavendar soap, which I'll show you once it's out of the mold. All in all, the weekend was a perfect blend of activity and inactivity. Don't you just love long weekends?

Nasal overload

One of the hazards of using public transit for those of us with scent allergies is that you are guaranteed at some point in your journey to be assaulted by the overwhelming perfume/cologne/etc. worn by far too many people. And there is no escape, unless you get off at the nearest stop, but then you'll just run into the same thing on the next ride. So here are my tips on how to avoid the worst of it.

Tip #1 - Avoid sitting or standing near black women.
Now before you get upset, let me explain. The fact of the matter is that the majority of black women use a significant amount of hair product, which is usually very heavily scented. There are, of course, exceptions to this, so look to see if the woman's hair is straight or looks like it's glued in place - those are the ones to avoid. Anyone with a more natural-looking hairstyle is probably safe.

Tip #2 - Avoid sitting or standing near teenage girls.
This one shouldn't need much explanation. Without a great deal of perfumery experience, it's easier for them to overdo it. As a bonus, you don't have to sit and listen to a conversation riddled with the word "like."

Tip #3 - Avoid sitting or standing next to anyone wearing animal prints, fur, or with extra-long fingernails.
This goes for both genders, folks. These are the people who think more is better - trust me, you want to stay far away.

Tip #4 - Try to sit or stand next to people with small children.
People travelling on public transit with small children are either: a) environmentally conscious yippies (that's a cross between a yuppie and a hippy) who wouldn't wear such chemically laden products, especially around their children, or b) too busy or sleep-deprived to even remember such frivolities as perfume and hairspray.

Tip #5 - Try to sit or stand next to people dressed in work clothes.
Anyone dressed in work clothes, and I don't mean suits and ties, is going to be doing some significant labouring and generally doesn't bother with scenting themselves. That's saved for when they clean up after work. There is one exception - if the work clothes are covered in paint, you may want to avoid them unless you'd like to get a passive high en route to your destination.

Tip #6 - Try to sit or stand near a window or door.
That way, if you are unable to avoid the three categories of people mentioned above, or a seemingly innocent-looking person turns out to be a walking scent bomb, you can at least get a brief whiff of fresh air on occasion. Another bonus: if you're sitting next to an open window in the winter, chances are no one is going to want to sit near you anyway. Just make sure you bundle up!

I can't guarantee that following these rules will keep the scent assaults at bay, since there are always exceptions, but I've been riding the TTC with allergies for three years now and can attest to the fact that every little bit helps!

Overwhelmed

I'm not sure whether I think it's neat or cussed that I'm continually learning new things about myself. Life would be so much easier if we were born knowing, or least came into the knowledge at a certain point in life. But it's so much more complicated than that, especially given the fact that we change over time, for various reasons. This can be a very good thing since nobody is perfect, and there is nothing more rewarding that seeing someone overcome a negative aspect of their personality.

But sometimes the change is more on the part of your perception of yourself than who you actually are. I used to think that I was an extrovert, who loved to be busy and out and about with lots of people, and in the last couple of months I have come to the realization that this is not, in fact, the case. I love people, and spending time with friends will always be a priority in my life, but I'm discovering that I need to put limits on this. Lately I have begun to feel increasingly overwhelmed by the amount of social committments that we have. If I look at my calendar for last week and the next couple of weeks, I actually feel oppressed. Of the 21 days, only 4 evenings are free, and it's been like this for the last month or so.

I found myself so overwhelmed and exhausted this week that I didn't go to a friend's birthday party on Monday night, and then called in sick yesterday and proceeded to sleep a good part of the day away. And it's not that I'm one of those people who can't say no - I actually say no a lot, but you can only say no so many times.

I think at least part of the reason I'm finding it all so overwhelming is that we're in Toronto. Not that the physical city itself is the cause, but rather its subcultural norms. Everything is so planned here. We wanted to get together with some friends a while ago, and ended up having to book an evening 3 weeks in the future to do it because everyone was so busy. That's Toronto. It's so easy to overbook yourself when you're planning that far in advance.

But I could deal with the over-scheduling if it weren't for the fact that when people do get together in Toronto, it's almost always at an outside location, i.e. a restaurant or park or movie theatre. Very rarely do people invite you into their homes, not because they're unfriendly, but that's just not how it's done here. You get together with people to do something, and this usually involves a trip to and from the agreed-upon location, which using public transit can take up to 45 minutes each way.

There are exceptions to this, of course, and it's not that I don't like doing things with people. It's just that I'm discovering that I need a lot more down time than I thought. I never noticed this back home, because the nature of social interaction there is much more laid back. You don't need to plan 3 weeks in advance, you just go visiting. If they're not there, it's no big deal. If you don't want to go out, you don't. You can just spend an evening in, doing what you would normally do, except perhaps with more people if they should decide to come visit you. Of course sometimes plans are made ahead, and people do do things together, but not to the extent that it's done here.

I'm not quite sure what to do about all this yet. I don't want to be anti-social or unreliable, but our current pace is just too much. I'm hoping that things will get better through the summer, as some of our responsibilities ease up a bit, but then September will roll around again and back we go. But I don't want to go back to this paralyzing state of over-committment. Maybe I just need to resign myself to having to say no even more than I am now.

Sundry Snapshots

One of the things that I enjoy most about living in Toronto is public transit...at least most of the time. Nothing gives me greater pleasure that watching the people around me as they go about their various lives.

Take Enoch, for example. He's a little old black man who often gets on the same bus that I do, and he's always reaching out to the people around him, asking them how their day was and trying to say something nice to them. Or if no one is sitting handy enough for that, he'll sit and sing hymns to himself.

Then there was the young man, who looked like a hoodlum, dressed in his baggy pants and bling, listening to his music blaring loud enough through his earphones that everyone within a 10 foot radius could hear it. But he was the first one to offer his seat to a little old lady, and to help her lift her little push-cart full of whatever onto the bus.

Whenever I'm on my way to the Walmart, I pass a Catholic church, where the old Italian nonno's are always sitting out in front on a park bench, arguing and laughing and feeding the pigeons. Two benches down, all the nonna's sit and chatter away in rapid Italian, probably talking about their children and grandchildren, and who has died and who is sick - like every other group of grandmothers on earth.

One night, as I was walking home from the bus stop, I noticed a young boy, probably around 8 years old, walking along swinging a plastic bag holding four or five cans of pop and stopping to examine every nook and cranny that he came upon. About 15 feet ahead of him was a woman carrying a couple of pizza boxes, who turned around and called, 'Come on Zach! The sooner we get home, the sooner you get pizza!' At this prompting he closed the gap by about half, and then proceeded to be fascinated by the concept of centrifugal force as it was demonstrated by the cans of pop being swung with increasing force in the plastic bag on his arm.

Not everyone is pleasant to encounter, like the man who got on the bus reeking of alcohol and started giving the bus driver a hard time about the recent deal made between the unions and the TTC. And the man on the side of the road, I assume waiting for someone to come pick him up, yelling about how he hates having to wait and that people should be on time, all the while taking his frustrations out on a poor, unsuspecting newspaper machine.

Regardless of whether they're pleasant or otherwise, I love watching all these people - trying to imagine what their stories are and how they came to be in the place they are now. Where are they going? Who do they consider their friends? What do they think of the people around them, if they notice them at all? It's incredibly fascinating. On a bus or subway car full of people, each person is part of a complex social web, none of which would intersect at all except that for this brief time they share the same purpose of getting from point A to point B using the same means of transportation.

Signs of Spring Contest

I would have to say that spring is definitely my favourite time of year. Ever since I was a kid walking to and from the bus stop I have loved watching the world gradually wake up from its winter slumber, peeking out in new places every day.

The first sign is always the little tiny bumps that start to form on the branches of trees and bushes, which slowly become tight little brown buds. Then they begin to take on a slightly greenish hue, and all of a sudden, when nobody is looking, the brand new baby leaves break free and give the trees a misty green shimmer.

Then you hear a sound that you'd missed all winter long but didn't realize it. The birds have returned, with their early morning chorus welcoming the new day. They're busy courting and building their nests, as are the squirrels, who you now see running up and down the power lines, and leaping from tree to tree.

If you look closely you can see that things are also stirring on the ground below. Little green spears start poking their heads though the earth, usually in someone's garden. They grow larger and larger, and soon they are no longer spears. They have become two leaves surrounding a stem with a faintly coloured bulge on the end - sometimes purple, sometimes white or yellow or orange, and sometimes a combination of colours. The crocuses have arrived! And before you know it they've opened up and are creating pockets of vibrant colour everywhere you look.

Then you start to notice that the grass is no longer the dry winter brown that it has been since the snow melted. Every day it becomes a little greener, as the fresh new shoots push their way up to the sun, replacing the remnants of last year's lawn until there's nothing left but bright green grass and maybe a dandelion or two.

Of course spring, like every other season, has its downsides. The melting snow and April showers can create a seemingly endless supply of mud, and the ants and spiders (and other creepy-crawlies) that have lain dormant all winter wake up and rediscover the paths into your house. And while I am not a big fan of these particular developments, they are also signs of spring's arrival, so I welcome them as well.

It's such an exciting time of year! Neighbours sit out on their porches and visit, the kids start playing road hockey, people put away their winter coats and boots and start walking everywhere in their bright spring clothes, the corner stores start putting a plethora of fresh flowers and fruit out on the sidewalk - I just love it!

And I don't believe I'm the only one, so in honour of spring I'm going to have a little contest. All you need to do is post a comment telling me your favourite thing about spring, and on Sunday I will put all the names in a hat (or bowl, or something) and pick one lucky person to receive a bar from my next batch of homemade soap (which is going to be a refreshing rosemary-mint).

Happy spring!

Вы говорите на русском языке?

I have never wanted to speak another language as badly as I did this morning on the way to work. Just as the streetcar started leaving the subway station, a lady came up to me and started speaking to me in a language I couldn't understand. She repeated herself several times, and then looked at me and said, "Russia?" I shook my head and apologized, telling her that I didn't speak Russian. Do I look Russian? Why, on a streetcar full of people, did she single me out as the person most likely to speak Russian?

Anyway, this poor woman didn't speak any English, except to say "I don't speak English," and was trying to get to a particular intersection. She was obviously lost, and was starting to get rather upset (worried upset, not angry upset). After trying to talk to me, she just kept turning to someone else and saying the name of the intersection, and everyone on the streetcar did their best to communicate to her where she needed to go, but she couldn't understand. The streetcar driver even made an announcement asking if anyone on the streetcar could speak Russian, but no one could. The project then became communicating to the woman that the streetcar driver had radioed ahead to the next subway station and arranged to have a translater meet her there, but as soon as we stopped, she rushed off.

I wish I hadn't been on my way to work, or that I didn't have to be there by a certain time. Then I could have tried to escort this lady to her destination, but it just wasn't possible today. I did learn something while watching this scene play out, though: the people in Toronto are incredibly helpful when given the opportunity to be. They just seem unfriendly because of the city-shell that they've had to develop in order to live in such close proximity to so many people. If you can get past that shell, which can be as easy as making the effort to speak to someone, they're just as friendly and willing to help as any Maritimer I know.

Mum's visit

My mom has been and gone, and we had a wonderful time. I'm so glad she was able to come - one of the things that I find hardest about living in Toronto is that my family is so far away. They can't really share in the things that are important in my life, except insofar as they listen to me talk about them, so it was really good to be able to show Mum my world...such as it is :)

This may sound funny, but one of my favourite things about having Mum visit was just spending time running errands with her. We made a trip to the Walmart to pick up the stuff that had been accumulating on my Walmart list, and I got to show her around my neighbourhood - my yarn store, our favourite restaurants, our dentist, the bank, the pharmacy - essentially the landscape of my life.

We also had a lot of fun just sitting around the apartment watching HGTV and the Food network, chatting and catching up on everything and nothing. On Sunday she came to church with us and met quite a few of our friends, putting faces to the names we've talked about.

On Friday we had Afternoon Tea at the Windsor Arms Hotel just south of Bloor Street. If the idea of having a grown-up tea party appeals to you (and you have some extra $$$), I highly recommend going. We had a marvelous time! The room we were seated in was just lovely, with 12' ceilings, ornate moldings and huge windows. The walls were a rich eggplant colour, and the furnishings were all either white or the same rich purple, with lavendar window treatments. We were seated at an elegant and cosy little table for two right next to the fireplace and underneath the crystal chandelier (sorry for the lack of pictures - TC took the camera with him to Washington).

Mum ordered the Darjeeling tea, while I opted for the Russian Caravan which tasted like tea that has been brewed over a campfire - strong, but good. We were each brought a different teapot (Mum's was a cute little pot covered in pink roses, while mine was a larger sturdy-looking affair with an Egyptianesque border around the top), and they kept the hot water coming throughout the 2-1/2 hours we were there.

Our server then brought out a 2-tiered china platter. On the top tier were three kinds of the cutest sandwiches - asparagus, citrus chicken and smoked salmon. Then on the bottom were 4 scones (2 lemon, 2 raisin) which were the most delicious scones I've ever had in my life! They came with Devon cream and blackberry currant jam - mmm! Next to the scones were an assortment of petit fours, all of which were very yummy. Then we were given a little ramekin full of fresh strawberries and Devon cream. By the time we finished eating all of this - and believe me, we did indeed finish - we were both just about ready to pop!

This did not stop us, however, from stopping at the Godiva store on Bloor Street on our way home and buying far too much unbelievably delectable chocolate :)

The only downside to all of this is that now that Mum has been in my little world, I really miss her and wish she could be part of it all the time - or at least more often... I'm trying to stay positive, though, and focus on being thankful she was able to come for as long as she could.

But will you do me a favour, loyal blog readers? If you live anywhere near your moms, will you give them a hug and tell them how much you appreciate their involvement in your life?

Thanks.

Blessings in disguise

I shall never cease to be amazed at how life always seems to balance itself out somehow. You see that list typed out so quickly below? Were you able to pick up on the frantic insanity that has been my life lately? The laboured breathing of someone who has been running full tilt for far too long but can't stop because the finish line is so close and there are so many people depending on her (including herself)? I think I was going to explode when God sent an unlikely gift our way - a bout with some type of respiratory flu.

What kind of gift is that, you might wonder - well, let me enlighten you. Because of said flu, which left me a coughing, miserable, feverish, voiceless, dizzy, mucus-filled wretch all day Saturday, Sunday and Monday, and is now performing the same wonders for the TC, we have both been forced not only to slow down, but to stop and do absolutely nothing but watch movies and blow noses for 3-4 days. And this was perfectly acceptable because nobody else wants our germs! No one expects you to attend 5 meetings in 3 days when you can't breathe. No one expects you to get all your housework done when getting up off the couch to put a movie in takes all your strength. And best of all, no one expects you to be able to conjugate verbs in another language when you can't form a functional sentence in your own. I don't even expect it of myself! Being sick gave me the permission I needed to take it easy for a while.

I can't believe it, but I'm actually thankful for the flu!

Spa Day

Well, I'm back from the spa and I had an amazing time! I got lost on the way there, but a nice lady with a beautiful black lab got me turned in the right direction and then proceeded to walk there with me, chatting the whole time, which was a fun way to get things started. My spa experience started with choosing the type of mud I wanted them to use - I picked the Oceanic Clay-Mud which smelled like lavendar and was supposed to be really moisturizing. Then I was given a tour of the facilities and given a locker, towels, a kimono and flip-flops. At this spa, before you begin any treatments you do the water circuit, which goes as follows:

1. Shower (using a delicious smelling mint-lime bodywash) to remove any impurities from your skin.
2. Spend 5-10 minutes in the warm salt-water pool in front of one of the massaging waterjets.
3. Spend 5-10 minutes in the 100% humidity eucalyptus-scented steam room.
4. Shower.
5. Take a plunge in the cold pool for a minute to stimulate circulation and regulate body temperature.
6. Spend 5-7 minutes in the infared heat sauna.
7. Shower.
8. Another plunge in the cold pool.
9. Steep in the hot green tea pool for 5 minutes.
10. Shower.
11. Last 1 minute cold plunge.
12. Sit in the warm salt pool for a few more minutes.

Once you've done all that, you sit on one of the lounge chairs next to the pools and sip water or tea or juice until someone comes to get you for your treatment. I didn't have time to get steps 11 & 12 in before they came to get me for the 1/2 hour massage, but that was alright. I was already feeling much more relaxed, but by the time Christiana finished I seriously had all I could do to keep myself awake! She took me back out to the lounge chairs, where I sat with my cup of 'Vitality Tea' and did my best impression of jello.

After about 10 minutes, Rachelle came to take me to my 'body bake and beyond' treatment. It was just like the description said - nirvana! I couldn't really see what was going on because she kept a warm cloth over my eyes almost the whole time, but there was a great deal of sloughing, slathering and rinsing taking place. I have never felt so pampered in all of my life.

Evergreen

I've wondered in the past about how I could possibly be making a positive impact on the world working for an company that is a rather significant cog in the machinery of capitalism, but some of those thoughts were laid to rest last night as I spent the evening with some colleagues preparing and serving a nutritious gourmet meal at Evergreen, a drop in centre for street kids in downtown Toronto. It turns out that my employer supplies the funds and the people for 5 of these dinners every year, and they're looking to expand that involvement by doing it monthly. That's not to say that I don't still have issues with my company and all that it stands for (ie. wealth management), but I at least feel better that they're doing something good with all of that wealth.

The Evergreen is a truly amazing place. They provide hearty, nutritious lunches and suppers 5 days a week, and warm, safe place for the kids to hang out during the day. They also offer the kids some amazing services, which you can check out on their website. It's a beautiful facility. And the kids desperately need as much compassionate help as we can give them. Some of their stories are absolutely heartbreaking, like the guy from NB who has been living on the streets since he came home from school when he was 14 and found a note on the table from his mother saying that she had taken his sisters and wouldn't be back. Can you imagine what that would do to your sense of self-worth? I find it hard to wrap my head around. I'm so glad that a place like Evergreen exists to show these kids that somebody cares about them.

Snow, snow and more snow...

Okay, I'm all for snow but this is ridiculous! It has been snowing here in Toronto for the last 3 days, and it's not supposed to stop until next week (although it is supposed to taper off a bit). I even experienced something that I've never experienced before - did you know that you can have thunder and lightning during a snowstorm? I didn't until last night.

I find it rather funny that Toronto freaks out whenever they get snow. I mean, yes it's been snowing for 3 days, but we've still only accumulated about a foot and a half of the stuff. For most of the rest of the country, that's nothing! But because Toronto doesn't usually get a lot of snow, they aren't prepared for it when it comes. It's the only city I know of that has called in the army to shovel it out - and even then it was only 15cm! I mentioned that to a colleague, and they replied by saying that unlike the rest of the country, the Canadian economy loses 4 billion dollars for each day that Toronto is shut down because of snow. I didn't say anything, but my thoughts went along the lines of 'The rest of the country doesn't let a bit of snow stop it from going to work'. Can you imagine what would happen if Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg, Ottawa, Montreal and Halifax shut down every time they got more than a few inches of snow? Nobody would have to work from December to April! Come to think of it, that might not be a bad idea...